But how long is “after a while”?
I keep getting caught up in “why”
which I’ve finally realized is a stalling tactic for just doing…
but I look around in the dark
and I can’t see the red line
and I don’t know which way to go
or what to do
I can’t even find my voice to sing a sad song anymore….
and I find myself smiling wistfully when my little girl spins her stars…
“Try doing something different”, he says….
and I know he’s right
and I thought I was
but maybe doing this all by myself
just isn’t going to ever make a big enough difference
so that I can be
the lady who paints dreams and sing songs and who never runs out of hugs…
I want others to look at me and see their own light.
I want to show them their stars.
but I can’t do any of that from down here…
and I’m afraid that if I take a step in the dark I’ll just fall down deeper.
If I’m so smart
and I can see so much
why do I let myself live this way?
2 comments
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September 23, 2008 at 3:21 pm
gypsy-heart
I by no means have the answers…I just know we are seekers. Our latest posts show we are in the same energy zone right now.
Your light does shine my dear..and you most certainly help us to see our own. Reflections we are…of one another. :)
Ah…that changing, growing, reaching, hiding, seeking, exhausting zone…. Or at least it is for me. :) And yes, we are all reflections, all connected and it’d do me some good to remember that eh? Thanks for saying that you see some light over here.
September 27, 2008 at 1:27 pm
KT
“If I’m so smart
and I can see so much
why do I let myself live this way?”
I was fighting with this very question just yesterday… A day too paralyzing to even put into words… I think it’s probably just part of the evolution into beings who strive… to learn more… create more… BE more…
@gypsy-heart… energy zone… I think it’s sort of a fall thing… the panic to migrate… to go SOMEwhere, because if we stay here we’ll starve… Even though the grocery store around the corner would claim that that is no longer true… ;)
I’ve been having a lot of those paralyzing days lately. Of course, I’m sure a lot of that is just circumstantial. I miss my dancing. I miss the stars.