I still have my red shoes, yes I do, yes I do…

And today I swept my floors for the first time in seven weeks. (Okay, so hubby swept them a few times too but they were seriously b.a.d.)  It felt like a major accomplishment and I can handle the clutter much better when the floors are clean.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll try mopping.

It got me to thinking (while I hobbled around in my brace).  I could almost imagine dancing again…almost.  I know it’s still a very, very long ways off but the little thrill was there.  

I’ve been keeping myself away from the music.  Not being able to move to it was too disheartening and I decided that if I was to be still that I was gonna be “still” but I’m ready to hear the music again tonight and so I feel like sharing.

This is El Pulpo.  I actually met him when he came to Charlottesville.  Alas, I was too shy and self-conscious to dance with him and my babysitter expired at midnight so when he asked me (as I was heading out the door) I had to refuse stating my car was soon to turn into a pumpkin.  (Sometimes I really want to kick myself.)  Anyways, he’s got quite a unique style and it’s not the norm but it sure is cool!

This music is by The Gotan Project.  It’s what they consider Neo-tango – tango with a modern twist.  I like this style in moderation – I really love the “classic” sound in comparison (though what’s “classic” can be a topic of hot debate) but there’s a great flow to this style.  And this video is so amazing on so many levels.  It really captures all the angles of a tango (no pun intended) but that’s a whole ‘nother post (or two or three) about polarities.  :D

And here is Ester and Chiche.  My German friend dances with them and someday I’ll be in this very salon dancing tango through the night and working on our book during the day.  It’s gonna be one heck of a working vacation.  As you can see this style is quite different again - there are so many styles of tango dancing with the “Argentine Tango” umbrella.  I get irritated with “this is the right way” and “this is the wrong way” unless we are talking about basics of course (which I’m still trying to master).

And now for my favorite style of all….milonga.

When a set of milongas come on the dance floor generally clears.  Not many men are comfortable dancing to this quick beat.  If I’m lucky (and I work hard at being lucky) I’ll snag one of the finest milonga dancers I’ve ever danced with and it’s the most joyful thing I’ve ever moved my feet to.  It’s very earthy and there’s a lot of room for expression (if you can move your feet that fast!).  I LOVE dancing a milonga …

*sighs*

Yeah, I can’t wait until I’m dancing again…even if I have to wear my little flat jazz shoes.

Pink Diamonds

“Well thats one way to lose these walking blues….
Diamonds on the soles of her shoes”
~the ever awesome Paul Simon

We went dancing.  Little pink sparkled-footed girl and I. 

I wasn’t sure just how she’d do.  She’s often not the best behaved little girl in social situations, being prone to acting her age and all, so I skipped the 2 hours of lessons beforehand and just took her to the hour practica.  She LOVED it.  She didn’t want to leave.

I danced with her.  She danced by herself.  She danced with another lady there and she even let mommy have a few dances of her own. 

It was really great.

She wants to go back.

I think I’ll take her.

Not to the milongas…those run too late and are much more a ’social scene’ (read: mommy really wants to dance) but I think I’ll keep taking her to the lessons on Sundays.  

She told me that she wants her daddy to go.  I told her she’d have to work her magic on him.  I’ve been trying to get him to go with me since I started.  Wouldn’t it be something if my little girl is the one who finally got him involved? 

Well, not counting on it.  Things are coming undone rather quickly….but I’m really glad that she enjoyed herself.   

solitary dancing

 

and Goddess will dance alone if she has to

with blue light of the moon reflecting

off of the snow outside

to light the room

and casting Her shadow against the wall

she breathes

what do I want from you?

only everything

only God

i want to feel my Goddess

i want to feel Her rise

like when I am dancing

I watch the profile of my face

and the outline of a strand of my hair that falls forward

as I take one ocho

and then the next

it is My music i hear

not a tango

not a waltz

I still feel the brush of your heart

so warm

and i feel my own rise up to meet it

as if there is no such thing as a single heart beating solitary

my legs swing to and fro

each step touched by the tango

it has become infectious

even in the very way that i walk

i asked again tonight if he might not dance with me…

and the answer was just a look

a look that held a thousand and one ‘no’s’

so I dance alone

in the sunroom

in the moonlight

my own light threatening to outshine them all…

and in the center I hold onto the Him inside of me

and He directs each step

and She decides how take it

One really great thing about being home alone on T-day weekend…

Besides the fact that I have TONS of time to read (and write) and sleep (without interruptions)….

I also get to run around in my dancing shoes and work on my pivots without anyone looking at me sideways.

It’s also nice that we have these hardwood floors (despite the fact that I am always bemoaning how often I have to sweep…..

Why I dance….

No one ever asks ‘why’ you dance….they ask you what ‘brought’ you to the dance.

I guess we all know ‘why’ already or we wouldn’t be there…

Well…maybe. 

“For the price of a latte….

….I can have one-half of my group dance lesson."

This is the conversation I have with myself each morning as I pass my little cafe stand.  (You know, the cute little drive-through type.)

No, money isn’t really that tight but it’s another way to cut out calories right?  Or is it that I always have to make myself "pay" for the things I really enjoy?

(Note to self:  You really should buy those red shoes.)

Is it too much to ask?

diferente_2392, originally uploaded by _anjolie_.

That I want to dance every night?

No, don’t go telling me that this is some phase that I’ll get over…..’cause that’s not gonna happen.

I can tell these things.

If I rolled back the carpet and wore my polka-dot dress….

…do you think he might dance with me again?

It was only a few steps and a turn and yes, perhaps it was done in jest…
But still…
I find myself standing at the sink tearing apart a chicken to boil down into its parts…
Holding back the tears because…
I just want to roll back the carpet,
slip on my shoes,
and dance some more.

Do you think…
If I rolled back the carpet and wore my polka-dot dress….

?

dancing words

she is home
she is always there
she is everywhere
i dance upon her shores
swimming in her grace
and as i let go
i realize
that she is me
allways

and:

i am the silence between the waves and you, you are the light that shines through the currents.